Victory. What does this word make you think of? Most certainly sports, maybe you have stopped smoking or drinking, Maybe you survived a dreadful accident or conquered cancer.

My Victory might seem a small one, but to me, very significant. I belong to those middle aged people who were raised always to do their duty, to work until your task is finished, to stand up for what is right and seldom (never) complain.

Many things change during a lifetime. And that’s life, of course. Today, my parents are getting old, friends are getting incurable diseases –  even die. Dear colleagues are leaving due to the work situation and because of retirement. Students are changing – the world is changing.

I am not there yet – not even on the threshold of retirement. But. Many personal things during the last two years have taken its toll. I felt tired and without enthusiasm this spring. Should I really work until the bitter end? No time for my ageing parents? No time for family, friends or myself? Nobody knows their time span – I might get run over by a bus tomorrow…

This thinking began to envelop me, and I checked my financial status as well as consulting my school on the possibility of taking a year off. And I did it. Despite my love for my students, my love for my colleagues and for my work. A hard decision to make, but when I finally had decided, everything felt as it should. Really good. Like a jigsaw puzzle coming together, displaying its flawless pattern. I can compare this to when I decided to stay at home with my children for five years when they were small. I felt I must not die having made too many wrong decisions, I must do as much as I can for my family. And this time also for myself. I needed to find that ”real self” I used to be satisfied with: Nonstressed, calm, energetic and creative. Listening and caretaking. The person I once was.